Tuesday, January 22, 2019

think on these

When I first started this blog I was newly married and enjoying life as a wife and being in ministry. Life was still crazy but i was trying recipes and just having fun..then after having my first baby Copelan I thought I will blog about my postpartum journey because it was tough.  I was going through so many changes and didn't quite know or understand how to process it all.  As I got through that I then my second baby Kate and so then I was writing about my journey as a mother with 2 littles and being involved in ministry.  I don't get to post as much as I would like to because I love writing and being able to out my thoughts into words and also helping others, so I'm always writing with the mindset of hopefully I can encourage someone else today.  I never write for pity or anything else it simply to let others know they are not alone in whatever they are going through.
 With all of that We have been going through something new and difficult lately.  I've had back pain for several years and I've learned how to manage it but in the last year I've had several other health issues pop up..Pain basically everywhere, nausea and stomach pain and random swelling.  I've been to so many doctors and had so many test done and we are still on the road to figuring out what is going on. I'm trying to stay positive and trust in the Lord and most days it is very hard to do. As  moms we already feel guilty about multiple things but this is taking it to a whole new level.they hear a lot " I have to rest "and I feel bad for not being able to do as much with them as I want , so  I have to constantly be reminded that God is faithful and he does have a plan. We have good kids and I know we do our best and  someday they will understand even if they don't know.
To this day I still love the name of my blog Crazy beautiful life because life is always going to be crazy but its also beautiful because we always have a reason to be thankful and to praise God for.
 Philippians 4:8 8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.
- I am constantly making myself stop and saying am I thinking on true things and lovely things? i have to take a step back and think on this scripture so I can think on how good God is. He is good even if where we are in life doesn't feel good.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

My greatest adventure

The definition of the word adventure is a very exciting or unusual experience. 
Did I travel somewhere?
Did I do something risky and crazy?
Did I try something new?
Not necessarily...you see my greatest adventure is my life..I'm living my adventure and it's pretty exciting. It's exciting because I never know what to expect. One day i wake up and have alone time with coffee and awesome bible study and the next day my kids wakes up at 5 am. I've traveled to the park a lot lately and the weather has been fantastic. Going to the park with 2 toddlers can be risky..just last week copelan was climbing a rock wall at the park and fell from the top so that was scary. He didn't get hurt,,,, Shew! Most of the time I feel like a crazy person..haha I constantly have like 50 things on my mind
When I became a wife almost 8 years ago it was new and all the things we went through as a couple was all very new and then having our first kid was new and exciting and then a short time later having our second kid was also new and exciting.
This sounds pretty fun huh!? adventure and the word exciting sounds fun but it's not always icecream and laughs it's sometimes tears and " Lord give me strength today"
I like to call this an adventure because it's absolutely what it is to me..it might not always be fun but there is always something to learn and there is always a fresh new day where we can start over and try again.
We all have our own adventure..it's just how you look at it. Life is stressful and confusing but it's also joyful and exciting. I learn something new everyday about me, about our family, our kids and most of all I'm learning more everyday how to lean on God and ask him for wisdom. Because life is stressful and confusing I look to God, I seek his kingdom first and trust in him and from that comes joy and the excitement in life. I know God's got my back no matter how bad the day is or the week.
So stop thinking so negative...Your life may be really hard right now but how can you learn from this situation and what is God doing through this?
Remember Colossians 3:2 Set your eyes on things above and not on earthly things
and Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Let Let your new adventure begin today by letting God take your cares and worries trust in him and have joy in life knowing no matter what God is in control. 

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

The theme verse

So in Kids 4 Christ we have a theme verse for our children's ministry each month. We teach the kids this verse on Sunday's and Wednesdays and with the lesson we teach we will incorporate this verse. We want the kids to not only know the verse but understand what it means and how to apply it to their everyday life.  This verse is not just for the kids it's for the leaders to which is why I am writing this post tonight.
The theme verse for June is James 1:19 My Beloved brothers know this Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.  
- Tonight I am putting the kids to bed and I get Kate in her bed and then tell Copelan ( 2 and a half years old) to go sit on the potty. As he's on the potty i wait in his room and then i hear the plunger..so I go in and of course he says more pee so he gets back on the potty and I go back in his room to do what..look at my phone..then a few seconds later I hear the plunger again...this time i sit my phone down and I yell at him. We get into his room and he will not get his pants back on and is screaming, so i pull him off his bed and lay him on the floor and get his pants on him as he's screaming in my face. I honestly had to shut his door and take a break. When I went back in a minute later he was crying so hard and it made me feel awful...he's only 2 as hard as it may be I have to give him grace.  I so need to practice this verse...slow to speak and slow to anger. I don't want to just yell at him and get so angry..seriously..this verse hit me hard tonight as I layed with him and prayed with him and tucked him tonight.
This is exactly what I taught the girls tonight..think before we speak so that way we have time to process and pray and not get angry and do something we regret. I will remember this verse and put it into practice in my daily life.  I want to give my kids grace and be patient with them.
Lord help me to be slow to anger and slow to speak. Help me Lord to have patience towards my kids.
My actions really got to me tonight..so I am going to make a change. I'm going to slow down and yes that's easy to say right now when the house is quiet and I've had time to chill.  But for real I'm slowing down and not just enjoying being their mom but I'm going to slow down before i react to them and the things they do.  They are just kids and just learning the least I can do is help them learn and be patient with them.   I felt like I had really failed him in that moment but I know we will wake up and he will be excited to see me when he wakes up :) I love waking up in the morning to my kids no mater how tired I am.

Monday, June 11, 2018

embrace it and love it

Well I'm tired and I was hoping to be in bed by now but here I am writing a post. The house is finally quiet and I can finally hear my own thoughts. So here latley I have been going through a thing, and I can't even tell you what thing it is because I honestly don't know. Us women are emotional beings and sometimes we just don't know what's going on with us..right!?
So I've found that I've been a little off balance latley...emotional and physically.  Honeslty It's been awhile since I've felt this "crazy" When I say crazy I mean moody, anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted.  So obviously I don't like being this way..who does!?  So I've been doing a few different things to help a little bit. As a mom of 2 little kids( a 2 year old and 15 month old) I can tend to get very exhausted and overwhelmed just by being busy all day and hearing screaming or yelling from the kids and not having a breather..I'm sure this is normal when you are with your kids all day. I don't want to "wish away" these years by being stressed and tired I so want to enjoy these kids and what they are learning. It definetley is a struggle most days to stay in the here and now and not get caught up in wanting bed time to come.
So how do you do this...here are some ideas:
try to get up earlier than everyone else in the morning ( this is hard for me and doesn't always happen)
stay up after the kids and destress ( reading, take a shower, blog, listen to podcast) 
Go outside during the day ( get the kids and just go outside for a few minutes and get some fresh air)
when the kids are playing its ok to go to the bathroom and shut the door or go in your bedroom for 10 minutes when you know the kids are doing good and just lay down and regroup for a few.
These things have helped me to be able to regroup and just breath. It takes time to figure out what is for you..I try to get up in the mornings before the kids if I can. This is hard for me but when I do I love it. Just enjoying the peace of the morning with my hot coffee and bible.  This helps me to prepare a little bi for the day. One thing that I just started about a week ago and I've really enjoyed is listening to a podcast at night.  Yes I'm tired so it's weird that I can listen to something but it really does benefit me. This is way better than staying up late to binge watch a show because I feel like it recharges me a little bit because I'm also being productive.  I will listen to a podcast while preparing lessons, making schedules, planning, blogging, or just doing research for certain things.  The podcast I listen to are by christian women who are moms and it has been so helpful to me.  I don't feel like I have a lot of community..I don't have a lot of " mom friends"  I don't get out much unless it's to the grocery store or to church. So these podcasts have been really good for me and I would definetley recommend if you feel lonely as a mom or going through a tough time in general o find some good christian podcasts to listen to.
And last but not least it is ok to shut the door sometimes...when you need a breather and the kids are playing nice or watching a show just do it. Go to your room where it's quiet and shut the door for 5-10 minutes and just breath. I don't do this everyday but somedays when it's really tough I have to have a few minutes to myself.
Being a mom is tough and at the end of the day it's nice to be able to de stress before bed.  I've found that it helps me to relax before bed.  With that said Being a mom is also amazing which is why I want to try and stay in the here and now and enjoy my kids and this time with them.  After laying in Copelan's bed with him until he falls asleep I can't move my neck without it being in pain..but I honeslty don't think about that. If it wouldn't hurt me so much I could just stay with him all night because I know one day he will be to old and to big for me to cuddle with and read bedtime stories to. The mom life is the good life because as crazy and hard as it is none of the hard stuff matters..in the moment it does..I know! But later when you have time to think you remember tommorow is a new day and probably new messes to clean up..LOL but it's a new day which means you can make new memories and just start new.
Sorry this is so long...:/
Just do what you need to do momma to love the momlife. I'm trying hard everyday to love it and embrace it..even when it's the hardest of days.
#momlife #loveit #embraceit

Podcast to check out:
Coffee+ Crumbs podcast*
Risen motherhood *
God centered mom 
The purpose show 

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

A rotten kiwi

So I will have you all know before you read this that I’m really just posting because its’s been quite an eventful day 😂 also for all of you to know you are not alone when you have a rough day.  We all have those days...so here is mine. So today the kids decided not to nap ( we have at least a few days like this out of the week) so at about 3:30 I decided we need coffee let’s go to Kroger. So we go to Kroger and mosey through the aisles and get coffee, desert thins, and bananas because those are important things..right!? So we leave and the sun is shining and it’s rather warm out so I decide it’s only 4:00 so lets go to the park. We had fun got some energy out and head home for dinner before church. We get home and neither of the kids eat their dinner so I get them down to play so I can eat my dinner...then the meltdowns begin. I eat my salad while Kate cries for a good 30 min and then copelan randomly starts just because he can. After meltdown time is over we get changed for church so In the process of getting changed parts of the house get messy...for example a tower of Tupperware in the middle of the floor, toys, and laundry baskets not in their proper place. Not to mention the mess of food from the dinner they barley ate still on the table. Oh well we can clean the mess later as we get ready to leave and I get my lesson in my bag to teach the girls I smell a very sour smell but I don’t see anything in my bag but I still smell it so I start taking stuff out my bag and keep digging ( yes there was that much stuff) finally I find a smashed rotted kiwi...so I dump everything out and spray the bag  and soak it. Anyway we come home from church and the house is still such a mess and smells like a sour rotten kiwi now.
But it’s 10:00 pm both kids are in bed and finally asleep and I will eat a snack and watch a show and then I will pick everything up because sometimes you just need to chill and sometimes things can wait.
Obviously it will all get cleaned up but In about 30 minutes...so the lesson is don’t sweat the small stuff, chug a lukewarm cup of coffee before church if you need to, and last if you take kiwi ( or any fruit)  in your bag for a snack don’t forget it’s there.

Monday, April 16, 2018

When your plans fail

I always have ideas going through my head daily for blog post but never get around to writing it. Well tonight I finally sit down and get to...We had a few days of beautiful spring weather last week and we stayed outside the whole day. Parks, chalk, meals on the porch you name it we loved being outside. Well today it’s freezing and rainy/snowy so it was time to be creative. What can we do inside that’s a little different than what we normally do. I decided to try one  of the fun things I’ve pinned on Pinterest. So me and Copelan made play doh. It was an easy recipe ( dish soap and cornstarch) but as it starting getting all over the floor Kate ( our 1 year old) starts putting it in her mouth and had no intention of stopping so I realize this was not a great idea. Plus copelan was done playing with it in less than 10 minutes. So I had to then get the vacuum out and Kate is terrified of it so that was fun. After I had gotten this mess cleaned up everyone was happy so I was getting dinner ready when copelan had a 30minute meltdown because his milk wasn’t in the right cup...
After dinner and another meltdown both kids are happy and playing so was it a little bit of a different night..yes haha but not in the way I had expected or planned it to be.
I struggle sometimes when I see what people will post on social media..I will think wow they always are having fun or doing something different and exciting.  But I have to tell myself that I’m sure their kids had a meltdown or threw a tantrum or was fighting with each other before or after this picture of fun smiling faces was taken. Things are not always what they seem...I might snap
a picture at the perfect moment and 5 seconds later there is a huge mess or someone is screaming haha...
We compare ourselves and our lives enough as it is without social
Media but add that in there and we are always wondering what we are doing right or what should we be doing different. I’m very guilty of this but just know things are not always what they seem. Things don’t always go the way we plan but that’s life We don’t want to show he messy and imperfect of our lives but we all have it..it’s there! So be encouraged friends to love your life fun beautiful messy chaotic all of it. It’s yours...

Saturday, January 6, 2018

The unexpected journey

I had this post written but erased it...I desperately want to be the person who writes a profound blog about life and the adventures it brings and I want to give this great advice that helps others.  I realized after I had this post written and I had to step away that I'm just me. I'm probably like more of you than you realize, or than I realize for that matter.
I have a toddler who is becoming rather hard and frustrating to potty train, who thinks its fun to pee on the floor and stomp in it. I have a 10 month old who is into everything and clingy when I need to get stuff done, and my floors need swept, the dishes are piled up and there is still a basket of laundry that needs folded and put away ( they are very wrinkly at this point) Oh and my coffee is cold
I'm trying to have more joy and get more sleep and drink more water..good goals right!?
My journey is different than yours but we are all on some kind of journey and it's called a journey because its a long trip. This is not a quick fun trip this is a unexpected journey and we need help. A tour guide if you must...Here is what everyday ( for the last 9 months) is teaching me. 
1. keep trying
2. Tomorrow is a new day
3.just breath
I'm not going to be perfect...I'm exercising, drinking water and spending time with the Lord and digging into his word but I'm still being transformed daily ummm hourly.  I'm putting into practice the verse's I read and applying them and trying so hard to let God change me and use me. It's a journey because like I said earlier it's taking awhile but I have hope that when the season is over when this journey ends and the next one begins I will be stronger and more patient perhaps. We don't get to our destination over night..
please don't think this is a long complaint about my life because it's not...this is simply a honest little blurb ( maybe to help you know you are not alone)

My life is amazing ( not perfect) but it's pretty great!