I've been debating on whether or not to blog about life lately but I decided to go ahead and just go for it..someday someone might need to read this.
We will go back to about 2 years ago when I had some major health issues start that was making life difficult and we felt like we were not able to move forward and progress in life because of my health so after much discussion and prayer, we decided that a hysterectomy was the best decision. This was not easy by any means at all , but we didn't see any way around it. So last November I had a hysterectomy which means I can no longer conceive and I am going through menopause as a 31-year-old. This was our decision and no person or doctor pushed us into it..I know it is not what doctors would recommend as a treatment for endometriosis which is what I struggled with but it was growing and putting our life on halt it felt like so anyway since then things really haven't been too bad. ( or so I thought ) I went off of the hormone treatment from the doctors because my body wasn't handling it and decided to try out all-natural solutions. So that is what I've been doing I'm taking several supplements to balance my hormones and also for my pain (fibro and arthritis )
I am sharing this all and hope to continue because there is no easy solution or quick fix.. I've been doing research and menopause is not common for 31-year-olds so it's hard to find someone/something to relate to. I have an almost 5-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter so I am definitely not done with needing energy and my days do not allow for alone/quiet/peaceful times.
I get up at 6 am to have my " alone time" which is spending time with the Lord and just having time to myself. The hard thing about this now is that I'm completely exhausted and wake up feeling stressed/overwhelmed/sad for no reason. So today I had to decide to just breathe and take this one day at a time..I know God has more for me and my husband in ministry and in raising our family which is our main ministry.
I know God doesn't call us to live an easy life and going through the hard things grow us and mature us in our faith, so I will constantly ask Lord what are you teaching me as I am learning to have joy when I feel none and have peace when I feel none. Let me please remind you these are all normal menopause symptoms just going through them in this season of life for me is particularly tough. I don't type all of this with tears in my eyes for pity but to share my journey and I hope someone out there reads this one day and will know that they are not alone.
I don't laugh as much and I don't feel like I enjoy my kids at this age they are in as much as I want to...I'm irritated and tired...The lies in my head would tell me that I regret the decisions that were made and keep saying " if only" " What if " " if only" " You should have tried other things"
These are lies because we knew the Lord led us to make that decision and now we are navigating through this season and learning how to live a life God has called us to live.
It's a battle in my head constantly but The Lord is greater than my thoughts/emotions and I will trust in Him to be my refuge and strength. The Lord is good and these are the things I preach to myself all day...
Thank you for listening to my rant and I hope this helps someone.
