Parenting is when...

This morning I am taking full advantage of the long nap my son is taking right now. I have done my bible study ( finally, sadly it's been awhile) got a few things for work done, read some articles, and now finally getting to blog.  This is how it normally goes though halfway through my post he normally wakes up LOL
I've been a mom for 3 months and 4 days..WOW seems like longer but I've learned a few things.  I literally learn more everyday about me, our marriage, raising a baby, and life in general. I know I will continue to learn and grow. I have become stronger for the things I have been through and becoming braver everyday. I'm still definitely trying to figure life with a baby out..I'm still trying to find and get back into a routine for work..but I'm getting there.  Here's a few more things I've learned so far
Parenting is when...
Parenting is when your alarm clock becomes the cries of your baby
parenting is when you wake up before the sun is out
parenting is when you drink coffee more than normal
Parenting is when no matter how tired you are seeing your baby in the mornings is the best
Parenting is you have not enough time but so much time
Parenting is when making funny faces and noises is fun
parenting is when sitting on the floor beside your baby watching him play is exciting
Parenting is when what you want no longer matters
Parenting is when all you think about is that little guy
Parenting is when you cram so much into 20 min or an hour
parenting is when you run downstairs when your husband says your son is doing something exciting
parenting is when you learn new things about yourself and others
Parenting is when you change..
Parenting is when you ask the Lord for help and wisdom every minute of everyday..
Parenting is when you fail and try again
parenting is the greatest thing I have experienced in my life and I am excited to watch Copelan grow and change more everyday. I am excited for the things God is going to do in our family. I pray that I can be a mother and wife who stands firm on the word of God.
Parenting is when you need nothing else...I have everything I need and am so grateful.
Parenting is when you are glad the post is finished because the baby is awake....hehe :)

Life with 1

Here lately and especially this morning I am cherishing life with Copelan. At 6:30 a,m. on this dark fall morning I have music playing, a candle lit and my cup of coffee.  I know that someday my life will be filled with more than just 1 kid and it will be very rare to get times like these. I get excited about our future and the things that it will bring.
 I've still been having way more good days than bad days and getting a really good nights sleep helps. I'm learning to cope though even when I am tired..Yesterday I was so tired.  Exercise has helped a lot also..I don't feel like my body is changing much but i feel better about myself and have more energy.
  I'm learning to cherish the little moments and remember that Copelan will only be tiny for so long..(which make me sad to think about) When he wakes up at night i love the cuddles and getting to spend time feeding him, seeing him smile when I talk to him when he wakes in the morning, and hearing him make noise on the baby monitor makes my day. He truly is a blessing and getting to be his mother is the best feeling in the world.
  I'm enjoying and cherishing the time I get with him and although we think we are busy I know that is nothing compared to the some day craziness of having a bigger family.  It all used to seem so distant but now it is so real..I finally am starting to feel like a mother.  I am definitely still adjusting but things are much better.  I would tell any first time mom to give it time things are different and that definitely takes some time to grasp. I would not trade this feeling for anything!
When people say things will change, having kids changes you or everything will be different don't let that scare you. Yes those are all true but it's a really good change and it's all for the good. I'm so glad we are parents and that having Copelan has and will continue to change us.  Let parenthood change you and make you a better person. Be ok with change! :)

so much coffee

Today was a rough day..Good news is it's the only bad day I've had this week. That's a huge improvement.  I don't like putting my feelings out there for everyone to know but like I said I want to share my journey to help others.
 The day started out rushed because I was going into work and my mom was babysitting so I was trying to feed Copelan and get him ready and it was later than it was supposed to be. I was emotional because I was tired and for some reason being tired really messes with my emotions. When I got to work i got asked how I was doing and cried...I can't even control the tears sometimes and i wish so bad I could. After a lot of talking to people and having an afternoon to come home and really get in the word and pray and exercise and take a nice shower I started to feel better. Today i hung some verse's up in my bedroom so I can be encouraged with God's truth and see them everyday.
 I felt better as the day went on..I now am about ready to go to bed but wanted some time to wind down first.I'm really trying to practice doing what Psalms 61:2 says...When My heart is faint (overwhelmed) lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  I need to learn this and am trying to give everything over to God.  I know I will still have bad days sometimes but I don't want to breakdown in front of people anymore..All I know is that God is with me and he hears me when I cry out to  him. He hears me not only on my bad days but also on my good days.
 I want to live my life to glorify God and I will use the strange time to lead others to him and show them that no matter how alone I feel or how much I want to cry it's ok because he hears me and is here to comfort me and give me peace.
 It's only been 2 months today.... I will find our new normal and it will feel good and right. Being Copelan's mom is the most rewarding and beautiful thing I have ever experienced.  All of this change I believe is normal and will take time..Someday I will look back on this and be so glad I went through it and will be stronger for it. I am so glad that God knows what he is doing!!!!!! : ) :) I serve a mighty and wonderful God
FYI: I've had soooo much coffee today but I'm still tried and will sleep good tonight.
 Psalm 62:5-8
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God[c];
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.

Psalm63:3-8

3 Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

being a new mom

Yesterday morning I searched the internet on blogs about being a new mom, and I didn't find to many. I found blogs written by moms but as far as experiencing motherhood for the first time I didn't find much. Maybe I didn't search long enough I mean I don't have that much time on my hands..:) That made me think though  I wonder how many other women are going through things for the first time and need to know that they are not alone.  I've decided I want to share my journey and my experience so far. 
 It's been 2 months tomorrow since giving birth and boy has it been a roller coaster.  When we first came home people made food for us for about the first 2 weeks and we always had visitors and people that wanted to help out ( which was awesome) but after about three or four weeks that all settled down. My husband went back to work after a week of being home..BOO! :( Eventually it was just me and Copelan hanging out everyday together. I love him to pieces but I was literally just sitting and binge watching shows on netflix all day...What about work!? My job is slightly different for those of you who don't know me and my husband are the children's directors at our church. I'm on paid staff but he also has a full time job. I do a lot of my work from home ( which has been hard to do now) Last week i actually started going into the office and working again ( that was also hard to do) I literally got a whole 2 things done in the three hours I was there. 
Anyway so the weight of ministry, being a wife a mom and dealing with my new body has been quite overwhelming. I was crying probably everyday from just being so tried and not know how to balance everything.  I went to my 6 week check up 3 weeks ago and my doctor said I had postpartum depression and prescribed me some prozac.  All of that made me feel even more awful...I had a long talk with Josh and was encouraged by ladies at church and said no to the prozac and shut down immediately the thought of being depressed. I said I'm just learning how to balance everything.  
  From that day on there has still been tears but lots of prayer, bible reading and talks with Josh to help me work things out. We stopped eating out and eating junk food my husband cooks most of the meals, and the house stays pretty clean with us working together.  I'm learning to communicate better with him, exercise and have joy in this awesome gift in life that God has given me. I'm obviously still getting adjusted but I'm taking one day at a time and giving everything over to God and letting his strength pull me through. I'm getting a routine down with Copelan and making some time for myself. In doing this I'm making myself be a morning person..When he wakes up at 5 am I fee him and stay up. I've been putting him in his crib while I eat drink coffee, read pray and just have some me time. Other wise i will not get it and feel blah the rest of the day. 
 anyway I want to share my journey and be there for others who may be having a hard time adjusting. I'm still not sure about people i know seeing this..It's hard for me to tell others how i feel so most people have no clue I've been having a rough time. I feel like not enough women talk about there time after baby that they go through.  It's such a  joy being with our babies and watching them growing and developing but what happens to us moms doesn't get talked about. 
 My advice to you communicate with your spouse, read and pray stay ground in God's word, be healthy ( exercise eat good) 
On that note..Copelan is awake! :) 

While the baby sleeps

It has been quite awhile since i have posted and i have been just itching ( literally i have a rash) to post lately. I am going to to type as fast as i can while Copelan sleeps. Who is Copelan!? Oh yes i have given birth to our beautiful baby boy since the last time i posted. He is almost 2 months old now. This is him the day he was born. I fell in love with him right away..

Copelan 1 day old

 After almost 2 months our life has been changed.  So much is different now and i am still trying to figure out a rhythm but its getting a little easier. Some days are harder than others though and I know the title of my blog is now more true than ever. Our life is crazy and beautiful and full of adventure.
 I find myself not having enough time in the day to get things done but also getting a ton of things done if that makes any sense. When he is sleeping I cram so much into that little time its crazy and the to do list in my head is slightly overwhelming. work, dishes, laundry, he needs a bath, i need a shower, exercise, spend some quiet time with the Lord, get dinner ready and so on....unfortunately the last 2 days i have neglected to exercise..How am I going to get back into my jeans if I don't exercise!!?? This is the thought that goes through my head all day..( my husband does help alot but being home all day i try to get a lot of these things done)
   I am learning to breath..what is important? As a new mom all of the things on my to do list seem so important and overwhelming if i don't do them but as a new mom I also know that i will go crazy if I don't sit and eat and spend time in the word. Its has been hard to figure this out and frankly some days i have to make myself get off the couch and get things done otherwise i will feel blah all day.
  God wants us to breath and to feel joy. I want to enjoy life, to enjoy my little family that God has blessed me with. 1 Thesalonians 5:16-18 says to rejoice always! pray without ceasing and give thanks in all circumstances,
Rejoice God has done good things in your life and is continuing to do things in you that you can't even see...
Psalm 62&63 talk about how God is our rock and our refuge and how we need to trust in him. They talk about waiting on God. Please read these two chapters for yourself.

Everyday is new and filled with new obstacles and things to get through but everyday is also filled with new joys and new things to laugh about.
I absolutely love being a mom and I love what God is doing in me and Josh as parents, as individuals and as husband and wife. Life is not easy but God is our rock than we can stand on. He will uphold us and give us what we need.
I have realized then when i put God first and spend time with him everything else will fall in place and work out. I will have a nice dinner made to eat with Josh, some laundry done ( not folded) no exercise but I ate breakfast and lunch :)  I will be satisfied and live everyday asking God to give me strength and with him I have the joy and peace I need to be a wife and a mom.

waiting

So even though it has been over a year since I have blogged the title of my blog is definitely still true. Our life is still very crazy and very beautiful.  A lot has happened since March 2014 and obviously I cant recall everything little or even big thing. The biggest thing that has happened in out life though i can recall and will tell you about this wonderful big thing. 
Me and Josh had been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years.  In this time of trying and waiting we prayed and trusted in God ( although it wasn't always easy) We changed our lifestyle by eating better, and using all natural and homemade cleaning and beauty products.  Obviously that alone was into the answer but we felt like that was what we were supposed to do and I believe it did help us in many ways. We went through many ups and downs throughout this time and we leaned on God and on each other. We knew God had a plan and we trusted in his plan and in his timing ( again not easy to do) 

first ultra sound

 In November of 2014 we had decided to just relax about not worry and just chill about the whole trying to get pregnant for awhile. So we did..our mind was set it will happen when it happens no more stressing and worrying God its in your hands!! Towards the end of December I was feeling extremely tired and I was like there is something wrong with me and Josh said I think your pregnant. Because of having false alarms many times before we waited over a week to actually take a test. POSITIVE!!! :) :) We couldn't believe it! Since then time has literally flown by so quick..I am now 7 months pregnant and we are trying to get everything ready and trying to pace ourselves. There is a giant ministry to do list and a giant  home to do list but we are getting things done and trusting in God to help us achieve it all. 

8 weeks pregnant

29 weeks pregnant 

For those of you who are waiting on something or overwhelmed remember God is on your side..Seriously he is! Our lives are so busy and can be so overwhelming but God is here.  Wait on him ask him to give you wisdom and peace, make a to do list and pace yourself.  God didn't create us to be overwhelmed and stressed he created us to have peace and Joy. So today if you are not feeling any peace or joy sit with the lord talk to him sing some worship songs and just rest in him ( Even if its just for 5 min) find your rest in him today.