A rotten kiwi

So I will have you all know before you read this that I’m really just posting because it’s been quite an eventful day 😂 also for all of you to know you are not alone when you have a rough day.  We all have those days...so here is mine. So today the kids decided not to nap ( we have at least a few days like this out of the week) so at about 3:30 I decided we need coffee to let’s go to Kroger. So we go to Kroger and mosey through the aisles and get coffee, desert thins, and bananas because those are important things..right!? So we leave and the sun is shining and it’s rather warm out so I decide it’s only 4:00 so let's go to the park. We had fun got some energy out and head home for dinner before church. We get home and neither of the kids eats their dinner so I get them down to play so I can eat my dinner...then the meltdowns begin. I eat my salad while Kate cries for a good 30 min and then copelan randomly starts just because he can. After meltdown time is over we get changed for church so In the process of getting changed parts of the house get messy...for example a tower of Tupperware in the middle of the floor, toys, and laundry baskets not in their proper place. Not to mention the mess of food from the dinner they barley ate still on the table. Oh well we can clean the mess later as we get ready to leave and I get my lesson in my bag to teach the girls I smell a very sour smell but I don’t see anything in my bag but I still smell it so I start taking stuff out my bag and keep digging ( yes there was that much stuff) finally I find a smashed rotted kiwi...so I dump everything out and spray the bag and soak it. Anyway, we come home from church and the house is still such a mess and smells like a sour rotten kiwi now.
But it’s 10:00 pm both kids are in bed and finally asleep and I will eat a snack and watch a show and then I will pick everything up because sometimes you just need to chill and sometimes things can wait.
Obviously, it will all get cleaned up but In about 30 minutes...so the lesson is don’t sweat the small stuff, chug a lukewarm cup of coffee before church if you need to, and last if you take kiwi ( or any fruit)  in your bag for a snack don’t forget it’s there.

When your plans fail

I always have ideas going through my head daily for a blog posts but never get around to writing it. Well tonight I finally sit down and get to...We had a few days of beautiful spring weather last week and we stayed outside the whole day. Parks, chalk, meals on the porch you name it we loved being outside. Well today it’s freezing and rainy/snowy so it was time to be creative. What can we do inside that’s a little different than what we normally do. I decided to try one of the fun things I’ve pinned on Pinterest. So me and Copelan made play-doh. It was an easy recipe ( dish soap and cornstarch) but as it starting getting all over the floor Kate ( our 1-year-old) starts putting it in her mouth and had no intention of stopping so I realize this was not a great idea. Plus copelan was done playing with it in less than 10 minutes. So I had to then get the vacuum out and Kate is terrified of it so that was fun. After I had gotten this mess cleaned up everyone was happy so I was getting dinner ready when copelan had a 30minute meltdown because his milk wasn’t in the right cup...
After dinner and another meltdown both kids are happy and playing so was it a little bit of a different night..yes haha but not in the way I had expected or planned it to be.
I struggle sometimes when I see what people will post on social media...I will think wow they always are having fun or doing something different and exciting.  But I have to tell myself that I’m sure their kids had a meltdown or threw a tantrum or was fighting with each other before or after this picture of fun smiling faces was taken. Things are not always what they seem...I might snap
a picture at the perfect moment and 5 seconds later there is a huge mess or someone is screaming haha...
We compare ourselves and our lives enough as it is without social
Media but add that in there and we are always wondering what we are doing right or what should we be doing differently. I’m very guilty of this but just know things are not always what they seem. Things don’t always go the way we plan but that’s the life We don’t want to show the messy and imperfect of our lives but we all have it..it’s there! So be encouraged friends to love your life fun beautiful messy chaotic all of it. It’s yours...

The unexpected journey

I had this post written but erased it...I desperately want to be the person who writes a profound blog about life and the adventures it brings and I want to give this great advice that helps others.  I realized after I had this post written and I had to step away that I'm just me. I'm probably like more of you than you realize, or than I realize for that matter.
I have a toddler who is becoming rather hard and frustrating to potty train, who thinks its fun to pee on the floor and stomp in it. I have a 10 month old who is into everything and clingy when I need to get stuff done, and my floors need swept, the dishes are piled up and there is still a basket of laundry that needs folded and put away ( they are very wrinkly at this point) Oh and my coffee is cold
I'm trying to have more joy and get more sleep and drink more water..good goals right!?
My journey is different than yours but we are all on some kind of journey and it's called a journey because its a long trip. This is not a quick fun trip this is a unexpected journey and we need help. A tour guide if you must...Here is what everyday ( for the last 9 months) is teaching me. 
1. keep trying
2. Tomorrow is a new day
3.just breath
I'm not going to be perfect...I'm exercising, drinking water and spending time with the Lord and digging into his word but I'm still being transformed daily ummm hourly.  I'm putting into practice the verse's I read and applying them and trying so hard to let God change me and use me. It's a journey because like I said earlier it's taking awhile but I have hope that when the season is over when this journey ends and the next one begins I will be stronger and more patient perhaps. We don't get to our destination over night..
please don't think this is a long complaint about my life because it's not...this is simply a honest little blurb ( maybe to help you know you are not alone)

My life is amazing ( not perfect) but it's pretty great!

broken

It has taken me all week to finally sit down and write this post.  This week (starting Sunday) I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. It all started Sunday when it was supposed to be family  time for us to relax and somehow the day didn't go as I had planned out in my head so it threw us all off.  After Sunday we had to together and separate figure out what to differently.  In a marriage it takes two to change not just one person so starting Monday I had a car ride to myself and had lots of time to think and pray alone ( which is very rare)
I said to my husband on Monday that I felt broken...later in the week I looked up the definition of that word. broken - to not function properly, incomplette, disconnected, weak in strength and spirit. I felt all of these things but i had to somehow get unbroken...I cried out to the Lord several times this week because he is the only one who can complete me and where I feel weak he is strong. I realized this week that sometimes the struggle is real, and sometimes we feel so empty and broken ( yes even us christians) Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and he will direct your path
I need to trust in the Lord to strengthen me and to help me feel connected..somedays I don't know how so i just cry out to him and ask for his help.
I struggle with feeling completely overwhelmed and then I get sad and have no joy..that's not good! This week it has been worse than it has been in awhile. It has taken effort together but we came to the conclusion together that we have to intentional about our time. Being wise with the time we have is so important for us.
So we have put away phones at certain times, we have talked more and been together more as a family ( because our kids don't believe in naps) In the evenings i have tried to relax a little more...the dishes, the work i need to do the laundry, the house needing picked up, sometimes it can be put on hold for 30 min while I watch boy meets world and relax.
It is such a struggle to get caught up in everything...but just taking it one day at a time.  I'm trying hard to just breath and drink more water. Goals right!?
So am I broken..a little bit but the Lord is strengthening me more each day and I am learning to trust in him with all of my overwhelming things in life.
You might feel broken just today, or for a few weeks or maybe you have felt broken for awhile and don't know what to do.
we have to push ourselves, keep going...God is so much bigger than the rollercoaster ride we might feel like we are on he will strengthen you and me and make us feel complete.  This might take awhile but piece by piece he will connect us and put us back together if we will keep going and keep trusting.
My life lately though its been overwhelming to me it's an overwhelmingly great life. :)
Need proof of how great it is!?
Your life is great to..think about what you have even when things are really hard.

This is me trying to work i walk away to get Kate and Copelan  gets up on the computer desk and gets to my stuff 

The best

We all wait for the best time to do things, the perfect moment..we will say it’s not the right time yet. We search for the perfect mate, the perfect pair of shoes, we try to find that perfect recipe for dinner that everyone will love. We wait to hear the words this is the best...This has been perfect..
What does it mean to have the best!? For you to have “your perfect” ?
What makes your life yours is what makes it the best! I’m learning every day even when I say “this day has been the worst “ that my life is not like yours, the friends I see on social media, or the picture I have in my head of what it should be like or what I should be like, or who I should be more like.
I’ve made mistakes ( and I still make plenty) but that has gotten me where I am. Every day is another new adventure that shows me my life is the best..it’s my perfect!
It’s my perfect because it’s mine and you have yours whatever that may be. Yesterday the kids played together a lot and I got lots of exercise and baking done and even made dinner, today my 7 months old ( who is struggling with sleeping at nights ) took a 3-hour nap on me so I got nothing done. Some days I am not positive at all I’m emotional and all things are going wrong and life doesn’t feel
Like it’s the best on those days but I really want to remember that “those days” are what make the best days so perfect.
My life a new adventure every day ( and not always fun) is my perfect. It’s the best!
We should stop waiting and searching for the best and the perfect..take your life and make it your perfect! Make it the best!!

What I chose

Both the kids are finally in bed and the house is quiet except for the sound of the washer and dryer. Today I chose to play with my kids instead of doing housework. Copelan has decided that stop napping for now so I haven't been getting the time to do things like I normally would. Today I decided to play with him and have fun instead of doing a 30 minute workout. I did a 10 minute workout instead. Today I decided to take a 3 minute shower instead of a 10 minute shower to actually wash my hair..( at least I showered) today I decided to take in the time I got with my kids and really cherish it. Sometimes (most of the time) I get so caught up in trying to get things done that I get frustrated becaus I can't get it done because someone needs my attention. Today I chose to give them the attention. I mean let's face it I will have all day tomorrow and the next day to do the laundry and the dishes.
 Being a stay at home mom ( who also kinda works) isn't easy but as hard as it is I find joy in watching my kids grow and being able to teach them things. Copelan just turned 2 and I feel like is learning and doing so many new things. I want to enjoy where he is I don't want to miss it.
 So I could wake up tomorrow and I have to tell myself all of this because the kids are screaming and things need done...and I may start to get stressed but I will remind myself that everything else can wait. I will take a deep breath, turn the music on ( or Clifford so i get 10 minutes of quiet) but I will learn and will keep learning that motherhood isn't about being perfect and having everything figured out. It is simply being here in the moment and learning everyday to breath and take life one day at a time.
A few of my favorite things right now: bed time stories, drawing together, the way Copelan yells mama when he doesn't see me in sight and he actually does this for the rest of the family in the house to including the dog and the way he says "love you"

When the day ends

All day I have been debating on whether or not to write a post about life lately...I was going to just journal but really felt like I should write here about it. So here goes and if you need to know I am a mom with a 2 year old and almost 6 month old, my husband works 2nd shift and I am a stay at home mom but also work as the children's director and leader at church. A little background on me so please read with and open mind and no judging! I am going to be completely open and honest because I feel like we are not honest enough and it makes women feel alone and like we are the only ones going through what we are going through. I need you to know that I am not writing this so you can feel sorry for me..I am writing so I get it off my chest and others know they are not alone.
I had a good day today and in fact it's been a pretty good week, I've gotten back into my exercise routine and I've been spending time in the word but something happened as I was getting ready to leave for a church function tonight. We were playing volleyball so I thought I will wear leggings and a cute shirt well after a little bit I was uncomfortable and didn't feel good about myself in it so I changed again, leggings and a tshirt, ( baby is screaming downstairs) I settle and about 20 min later I opt for a pair of jeans and a comfy t shirt. So What I couldn't figure out what to wear..Big deal right!?well you see if i could wear sweatpants and still look cute and feel good about myself I so would..I have a postpartum body that is hard to deal with.  I'm not tall I'm on the shorter side so it doesn't look like i lost all the baby weight right away..i feel pudgy and gross basically in anything I wear. ( told you I was going to be honest)
So I go tonight and compare myself to the other women there and wonder why I can't eat or drink whatever I want and not gain weight, I wonder how hard I need to exercise to feel good about myself again, what foods do I need to cut out, and I wish I could just find clothes that made me feel good about myself. I then move past that issue and then guilt trip myself...I miss my husband so much and sleep and just being able to relax and I won't get any of those maybe till at least Sunday. I absolutely love my kids and being their mom literally it's the best thing in the world but I need a breather. How is it that I can start my day studying the word and be filled up but by the end of the night I have absolutely nothing left. ZERO
It is a part of motherhood and you are not alone...we are all in different places in life and that is why it is so important to not compare ourselves to others. Everyday is new and everyday is a balancing act I am sure you understand and if you don't please don't judge. I don't have a revelation to share with you or something super spiritual to encourage you with but I do want you to know that you can do it! I can do it..I will find rest I will wake up and hopefully be able to start in the word i will keep pressing on and keep pushing forward. I will mess up and try again, I will find a balance and lose it. I will not shower tomorrow until the evening most likey but we are moms and God has put you where you are for  a reason.  I will remember that so you should to. you are not alone..I'm with you momma and God is too!